MidLife is only the beginning!

I am now over the hill apparently.   However, life is basically only beginning.

As I try to recapture the things I wanted to achieve in my twenties, I look back and wonder what the hell have I been doing for the last twenty years.  Midlife crisis.. maybe!!

So, here I am never married, no children, and a degree from an unaccredited college.   The mistakes I have made  are due to several reasons which I am now just understanding.

Currently, I am back in college, about to graduate I might add proudly.  But since I am over forty, what are my chances of getting a decent job which will pay for the remaining classes I have?  The university I attended was also where I worked until recently.  Due to cutbacks, I chose to leave my position and return to a former job ( which I am regretting also)  My pay decreased as well as my hours.  What am I to do?  Today, I got not one, but two rejection notices from the State of Alaska for employment I have sought after.

I had attended classes when I was twenty, a very young twenty year old and immature.  Not mature enough to sit down and study for classes that it took.. My knowledge of the world was so limited I understood nothing.  However, once my mother died, I left classes and took time off ( I think thats what it was.. my GPA was not very good either).

At the time, the church I was attending noticed my natural ability to mesh with children.   Since my original major was elementary education, I too thought I was on the right path.  Then during my break, my pastor at the time told me I should go into children’s ministries.  So I did.  Wrong!!!   I got my license but after breaking my butt working for churches that only wanted me to volunteer full time, I said enough and that is why I am now seeking my bachelors in Business Administration and Environmental Studies.

I am wondering though.. will it be worth for me to complete my degree?  I have seven classes left and will be in debt from those classes for about $1700. 00.  The way that the economy is right now, what if I do not find a job that will keep me fed, housed and paid enough to pay off these school loans?   I know many people that are not college grads that make more money than people with degrees.

This worries me. What shall I do.   Attaining a degree has always been my goal in life. Now that I am so close to the goal and becuase it is going to cost me a few bucks to finish, is it worth it to me to finish?   Many employers do not like to hire older people in new/entry level positions because they already have a family to deal with and other issues younger graduates do not.

I would think that not having children or any dependents would be my benefit.

How did that happen?  He got away, not sure how or why.  But the one got away and then the next one left as well as several others.  Recently I was told I don’t act like I want a commitment.  So, I have decided for the next year, to agree to that statement.   For years I gave of myself to children in the church and have not gotten anything back except the knowledge of knowing I touched a lot of young lives by loving on them.

I gave of myself, selflessly because I loved being around kids. Still do.   I gave so much that I did not take time to make my life happen.   I did not take time to find someone to love and marry me.  Now, as some may have said back in the day, ” she is a spinster”.

Call it whatever suits.

So now, in my forties, I am about to graduate from college. About to embark on a paid career, and possibly adopt a kid or two.  Maybe I will find Mr. Right too!!

The light is returning slowly but surely!!

Studded tires makes winter biking easier in the snow.

     As the light returns to Alaska, the temperatures normally get colder.   Cept this year.   We finnally get twenty inches of beautiful snow in time for Christmas ( or at least we thought)  but by the time the holiday finnally came around, the streets were clear, and white had turned to brown in some areas.  The snow has now crusted over although it still hangs on some trees reminding us of its presence.

Its nice ot have the snow cleared  because I can ride my bike and not worry about the depths of the snow  getting into my driveline and hubs and then having to stop because the snow is too deep.   Sometimes the snow gets so deep and is so wet that I end up having to push me and my bike to the intended destination.

However, this past semester I did a marketing plan for a recent new bike called the FatBack bike.  This bike is much like the Fat Tire bike except the frame is friendlier for stopping  in the snow and having to let your feet sink in the snow at which time your crotch area becomes lowered as well and can get injured by the other fat back bikes.  This frame has a lowerd high bar for this reason.   No more ” ouch” when you get off your bike and your feet sink in the snow as your privates hit the high bar.  

This style of bike is excellent for riding in the snow or in the sand.  The four inch tires help to glide across the snow, deep snow and twigs or other debris that may have fallen.  The tires are much more durable as are the frames of theise bikes which can either be aluminim or titanium which of course, make these bikes spendy.  But, these bikes are for mature riders as they will last a lifetime.  The ti bikes will not rust and are lifetime guaranteed.  The aluminum bikes will not rust either.   They are the greatest newest bikes on the market these days.   But no matter what bike is ridden in the winter, proper clothing is a must.

Dressing for cycling can be a trick.  One would think to dress heavy because of the cold but thats not correct.  Too many layers and the exertion the cyclist will rapidly heat up.   Its best to dress cool or in layers as if skiing.  Layers can be peeled off or put back on.  Of course, cotton is not recommended because cotton absorbs moisture and it sticks to the skin which in returns can chill the body into a very cold temperature.   Trust me, warming back up after being chilled to the bone from cycling or any outdoor activity can take a while!!

Tomorrow marks the blue moon and New years Eve.  Should make for an interesting day!!

Winter Solstice Celebrations

                Once again, Alaskans come together to celebrate one of the few populated holidays in most of the world.

Today, December 21, celebrates winter solstice, the shortest day of the entire year or,  the day with the most darkness.   This is the day when we Alaskans go a bit crazy.  We celebrate no matter what day it falls on.   To most Americans, this is just another day. 

Winter finnally shows up in anchorage with twenty inches in three days.

But, we love this day.   This is the day celebrated in various ways to say goodbye to the twenty hours of darkness in anticipation of the light returning to this northern hemisphere.    It’s a day all Alaskans look forward to.  Although winter has technically  just set in, it’s not resented as Alaskans  know that the light is returning and  the snow begins to melt in breakup, the light is returning in minutes a day and soon the fish will be returning to the waters in which are enjoyed by most residents. 

This time of year, many Alaskans experience SADness or Seasonal Affectedness’ Disorder.   To many, solstice is a reminder of happier days ahead.    Most   people lack in vitamin D which is from the sun, but Alaskans are more prone to lack much more of it and should supplement their diet with the vitamin.  This vitamin helps mood and this time of year, Alaskans can be rather grumpy than in the summer.   

The whole thought of solstice makes people happy just thinking about the return of daylight.  While it is usually a cold time of year, residents do not falter in their celebrations.   Celebrations this time of year do not lack as everyone looks for any reason to enjoy life.    The darkest day of the year is not unusual with tent campers atop flattop trail in the Chugach Mountains inside of Anchorage.  This night although short, is easy enough to watch the sun or light come and go in a few hours time which makes for a great winter outing especially if the Aurora Borealis or the Northern lights make an appearance which adds to the majestic beauty of the frozen lakes, snow covered trees and frost laden window sills. 

With Christmas and New Years   just days after the solstice, the long month of December is made shorter by the many celebrations and shopping frenzies.    February in Alaska is the Fur Rondy winter celebration followed by the Iditarod dog sled race in March.  By the time the last dogsled makes it to Nome, Alaska for the end of the race, the sun is at about a ten hour a day length.

Commitment! Actions speak louder than words!!

What a view!!

    When a person commits to something, it is an  agreement  to giving their all to that thing.   It is not just a word, commitment is

This group made some huge finds in Cheney Lake!!

 an action. 

   I have made the commmitment to get another degree  and this time it will be in Environmental Studies.  This means I will do whatever it takes to make this happen for me.  I am hoping I will be done in two years, not three.   I am not only saying this, but I have put action to it. How?

This summer I have been working on my junior praticum and it involves completing various environmental projects

in which I have become involved in community projects not only in Anchorage, but also down in Homer, AK. 

Of course I had to go to Homer because I love the place and the people there.  I feel like I am at home in Homer.

I met so many people that live there that are sustainable and environmentally frinedly folks.   My next trip down I was invited back by so many people I am not sure if I will have time to visit everyone!! 

My first stop was to go to KBBI radio station and help them start a garden on the other side of the building they occupied.  This was a god send because through her, I got hooked up in the city with many other folks that grew organic gardens.  One name came up often as I spoke to people and now I am privvy to the sustainable Homer email list. 

The day ended with a visit to one of the Marimba bands practices.  I was thinking I would only stay half an  hour.  I stayed the entire pracitce.. it was so amazing and beautiful to hear one of the five marimba bands in  H omer pracitce.  I was quite surprised when someone mentioned margaritas and the next thing i know, we are heading to Don Jose’s restaurant!!

I also cleaned out a greenhouse for the Land Trust there.   I was so happy to meet so many wonderful people.  After cleaning the greenhouse, I was invited to the Dawg to hear Sailor stories.  It was a great time and I felt so much at

home with all those story tellers!!  Good thing I was staying on the spit, it was not a long way home and I could not get pulled over for drunk driving!!

What a mess

I met and worked with folks from the Islands and Oceans Center in which I was invited back to go to Peterson Bay and do a clam survey later this summer.

In my commitment, I am trying to learn about the benefits of eating organic foods and cooking with more natural products.  Since my commitment has grown stronger, I have also chosen which market I will do most of my shopping at.  This market is also where I have found my most wonderful friend that supports me in my endeavors.  Another God-Send!!  I am so lucky!!

Now that is commitment, he helps me, I help him.   He asks me how I am, I ask him how he is and so on.   We help each other, its not a ” all about me” type of deal.  Its a win win siuation for both of us.  I am very  happy with this man!!

I also commmited to making the environment a better place.   Here is how: I ride my bike all around town so I can leave a smaller carbon footprint or I walk!!  What a great way to get some good exercise!!

  I ride the bus if necessary.  My car sits in the driveway alot .  Its used to run multiple errands and on long rides with others.  

 I buy items that are in recyclable containers.  Such as laundry powder.  ( Yes, I went back to powder)  Plastic bottles have a harder time being recycled here in Anchorage and so therefore I have gone to paper boxes.  I buy drinks in metal cans so they can easily be recyled and I use a stainless steel water bottle.  I air dry my clothes.  Saves me money  and my clothes last longer.  I clean with natural products like baking soda and vinegar.  Costs a whole lot less than the man made chemicals and is better for me and the earth!!

I buy local.  Local buying supports Alaska’s economy.  Everyone wins when consumers buy local.  I do it buy supporting local shops such as Speedway Cycles instead of REI and I buy veggies at the farmer’s market when I can or from a local CSA.  When in Homer, I know enough folks that give away fresh veggies so I can have a wonderful supply when down there.
I cook large meals.  I recently made a wonderful batch of turkey chili and was pleaseantly pleased with my outcome.  I made enough to freeze for when I go camping the next time.  Sharing this food with other campers is a great way to introduce non believers to turkey/tofu food!!

My commitment goes beyond what I do at my house.  I am currently seeking out wild alaska plants that are edible.  Many people cannot believe that marigolds are good for sore skin.  Jalapaenos are good for congestion.   Yes, food is medicine if it is used for the right reasons.  But the food shoudl be pesticide free.

To me, life needs a purpose, without a purpose life is meaningless.  All that constant drinking and partying gets old and is pointless.  Not many people will remember you in the next week.

However, the environment will be around a long time and if each of us do our part to protect it, it will last a long time and I want my commitment to show for something.  Partying all the time does  nothing but perhaps a liver transplant.  What do your actions say about you?

 

I came to Alaska eight years ago even though I had been told “the odds are good but the goods are odd”.

I did not realize this meant the human population!!  I have had some strange  human encounters while living up here and have not had one bad incident with animals.  In fact, I have been very close to moose and have not been attacked.  I have come close to bears and have not been attacked.  But, getting close to humans is a different story.  Perhaps it’s those that I choose to make friends with.  Perhaps.

Sun set shows the cols as it reflects off a building in January.

I was told when I first came up here that people that move to Alaska move here to get away in an attempt to run away from something.   The only thing I wanted to run away from was this town I grew up in and saw no future in it for me.  I needed direction, a change, more mountain air.  So my choice to either move to Kalispell, Mt or to Alaska was won over once I had visited Alaska.

So, now that I have been up here for eight years, I feel like I have finally met some wonderful people that I can call friends.  Funny for me though, it seems my friends and those that  I can count on are all older than me. I don’t know why, but even growing up I got along better with my brothers that were over fifteen years older than me.

For some reason, I have been attracted to Homer, AK since my initial visit.   A few weeks ago, I went  to do some work for my practicum and found that the people in Homer  are extremely inviting and fun to hang around with.   I am now planning another week’s visit to this wonderful town.  This time though will mark a wonderful trip across Katchamak Bay to Tutka bay.  A small, remote island where one can live off the land for months at a time before the heavy snow falls.   My next trip to Homer will include traveling across the bay to Peterson Bay to do clam surveying.  Ive also been invited back to just enjoy people and t heir hospitality.  How can I resist!!!

I also know that a lot of men who are not afraid of hard workand  work out  of and in Homer.  Last year a guy that wanted to go out on his boat and had let his deckhand off fo r the day offered to take me and my frined out.  Sadly enough, we had already had plans to do some clamdigging.

Fire

Although these trips include work, it shows that the town is still open to operating on the barter system.  Larger cities deem in only money and no trust in a person’s word.  I firmly believe in the barter system and believe in being rewarded for those who earnestly seek rewards for hard work.  It seems like I am finnally getting paid for all of the time I spent giving to people in the last twenty years.

I keep saying I want to move to Homer, this has proven to me that Homer could indeed be the place for me to live.  I have old fashioned values and Homer loves those kind of people who are willing to give in receipt for something other than money.   I have found the people there appreciative of anyone willing to help and lend a hand. That is something hard to find today.

Anchorage has taught me that many single people are single because of how they choose to live and act towards those they get close to.

Although Homer has a lot of bars, there are other things to do besides go to the bars.  Fortunatley for me, I have met  crafters and bakers that are always wanting to get to gether for one reason or another.  Bars, going to them constantly, are a waste of time and money.  I did that after  high school and have grown out of the need to make an ass of myself.

I did not come to Alaska in order to run away from something,  I came to experince life in a whole new way!!  And that I have been!!

One thing that I will say, the odds are good, but the goods are odd.

As you can see, I am still single!!   ( but loving it)!!

Hoar Frost aligns the trees all season long this winter.

2009 began literally with a bang this year.  As the party I was at saw the city’s fireworks go off at 8 PM AKT and then our party began.

At midnight, I told my friend Carl who I had been dancing with ” It’s over”!! That last crappy year is over.  He had no idea why I was so happy about it.. but, yes he agreed and we both agreed to a year filled with dancing and frienedship if nothing else.

I ” resolved” to make this year a new year..literally!!   Old things are going to pass away and Yes, there will be new things!!

The first thing on my list was to get rid of my job at the college.  That is in process!!  The next thing was to get rid of someone pretending to be a sheep, but actually a wolf  out of my life.  That is furthering along as time progresses and I use my well intended ignoring skills when he happens about.  Yes, life will be better with those two changes.

Next, I am taking a class which excited me to no end.  

Growing up and through the years, weather has always fascinated me.  I took meterology classes in Middle and High schools and aced them.   Now, for a science lab, I am taking Meterology. 

As I sit typing this, I cant help but think what a day its been!!  First of all, I get up and find out all the schools and the unis are closed due to poor road conditions.  I was thrilled.  

Although the roads were proclaimed by the city to be unsafe due to icy conditions, I ventured out back to my workplace to grab my school books and my pc so I could make today a productive day.  The roads were bad, but not worth shutting down the whole school system for.  Perhaps they were bad earlier, but around 9 when I was venturing to work they were wet, sloppy but not the conditions that were reported.  I was told the main hiway in and out of the city was shut down.  It was running smoothly when I got out there.

So, my goal was to find a quiet place to sit and write out a resume and job search from the net.  Yes, I had a productive day today.  I got that accomplished.  I will continue to look at other places beyond what I did today, but it is a start. 

As I sat here, I would look out across the Chugach Mountain Range I could see a  multitude of frontal systems move through the area with a low pressure system sitting over Anchorage.  I saw the scud move across the city as well as the sun came out for a few minutes also.  But for the most part, the sky was overcast all day. 

Overcast skies are a welcome sign for us here.  The last few weeks we have seen bitter cold temperatures and clear blue skies.   Those two things together which were not only during the day, but the nites were clear as well, gave us these incredibly cold temperatures where most heaters could not keep up.  I loved it thogh as my office was very comfortable.  I did have several layers on and my movement made me very comfortable indeed.  Now that the temp in the building is back up to 72 degrees, I am peeling off layers already and its only 25 degrees outside.

Anchorage is funny that way, when its too cold out, we all complain about the weather.  but when it warms up and the city begins to clear the roads again, they quickly turn to ice and everything gets shut down.  Everything that is excepts the trusty library!!

Acclamate to the Cold!!

First big snowfall of the season made for great cross country skiing.

It was an interesting ride home.

 Welcome to Alaska!!  More like, Welcome Winter!!

As Alaska  embarks upon the 20th of December, we also embark upon Solstice.   The time of year we love to celebrate, not because it’s Christmas, but because its the shortest day of the year which means we begin to gain light again.

Sure, its only a few seconds a day that we gain at first, but then those seconds turn to minutes and by May we are gaining almost five minutes of daylight a day.

We have much to be happy for!  The light makes for longer ski days without having to use a headlamp to make sure you are going down the right trail and not into a tree.  Or, a headlamp works the same way as in for biking in the snow.   But some of us do not let that get us down.  Its wisdom to use a headlamp and studded tires in the snow on a bike just as it is wise to use the right kind of wax on our skis for the right snow conditions.

Snow conditions..  rapidly changing  snow can make a person snowblind and we are not careful, can get lost in the snow.  Its always a good idea to be prepared for whatever conditions one may encounter.  Usually if one looks to the clouds they can tell if  the weather is going to turn.  But, that takes some time to learn but usuall anone knows that a massive storm is heading their way if a mass of clouds is in the area.  It just takes time to watch which direction they are going, how fast they are moving and, if they are moisture ridden or not.   Common sense will tell a person to get out of the area if they are not prepared for what lies ahead. 

 However, biking in the winter is a wonderful way to experince the backcountry if one has either studded or fat tires.   It has been recommended to me to let some air out of my regular tires in order to ride on the snow without having the expense of a new set of tires.   My defense to this was ” what if I slip around and fall?”.  Then I recalled last year how I slid on the ice with my studded tires and was bruised and had a few cuts.  Guess that theory just got  shot down.

The part of cycling in the winter that makes life bearable is the amazing beauty that one can encounter and get up close and personal to.  Its nothing like being in a car and looking though the front window in order to get a great view.  Feeling the cold, crisp air and letting it rip through your face thats uncovered is like a cold shower that wakes one senses up and allows all the feelings of  nature become real to you.  Sometimes, the part that really gets your adrenaline going is when unexpectedly, you have a moose encounter!!

Moose are usually very big, unless they are newborn, but that is unlikely in the winter time.   Moose will usually ignore the person they are close to unless something startles them or appears to be a threat.   The best thing is to stay at least fift feet away from the animal. 

I have several times, been up close and personal with a moose. Not by accident, however, sometimes, it just cant be avoided like when I was walking on the sidewalk of a busy street.   The moose was on the same side of the sidewalk as me, I had no choice but to step close to it.  The moose was eating and, if he did notice me, did not even flinch.  He was too interested in eating.  This is a good thing, when a moose is eating, they are usually not interested in anything else.

The other day I came out of my work office and was surprised to see two moose galavanting across the yard.  One was a baby, perhaps the same one born on the lawn earlier that summer.  The mother saw me, I grabbed my camera to take photos, the mother watched to see how close I was getting, since I did not venture anyy further or even towards the baby, she left me alone and they ventured off into the woods together.

One day I was walking at a normal pace on a trail when I saw a young moose laying in the woods.  All of a sudden the moose jumped up and trotted quite fast towards me.  I looked that moose right in the eye and thought I was going to get trampled.  He stopped just inches away from me, let me further down the trail before he crossed the trail I was on and took off to wherever.   I was shaken up, thought I was going to have some serious injuries that day.  It was crazy!!

Moose are a beautiful aspect of Alaska, but one must err on the side of caution with these amazing animals.  They are wonderful and amazing to look at. however, they can and will stomp a person to death if they feel there is any fear.  Luckily, these events are far and few between in this land of Alaska.  It does help when we can see where we are going. And having more natural light helps out a whole lot.

Now that Solstice has passed, we are not only celebrating Christmas and New Years but also the return of light.  So you see, this time of year gives people in the Northern Hemisphere a lot to be happy about. 

Take time to celbrate those little things in life!